We Not Me
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Episode 72 - Agreeing to disagree
Show Notes
Disagreements can quickly escalate into a fight for survival, triggering a limbic response in the brain that can lead to destructive behavior. But none of us has privileged access to the truth. We all have different perspectives, and so by engaging with the unpredictability and uncertainty of our environment, we can get to a more precise, accurate, and nuanced understanding. To nurture a culture of healthy disagreement, we need to remember we don't know everything, and that assumptions can be challenged.
This takes curiosity and a willingness to change our position and the position of others. In this second and final part of Dan and Pia’s conversation with Matthew Bellringer, our guest explores ways we can start to disagree agreeably, by being clear about what we don't know, situating our perspective, and sharing why we think a certain way.
Takeaways from Dan and Pia
- Considering other perspectives is essential for positive disagreement and progress, and bringing us further into the group, rather than risking the feeling of banishment.
- Making assumptions harms our attention to detail and critical thinking. Truth is often complex, but we can tend to prioritize being right and looking for quick fixes.
- If we feel threatened by a differing viewpoint, we can lose our ability to reason at a higher level, and can be compelled to make our point at all costs. We need to find ways to detach from emotions and try to understand our own responses.
- Healthy debate should recognize the middle ground, and be able to see both sides. It’s a position of strength, not weakness.
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Meet the guests
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Matthew is an innovation and impact guide, speaker and author, focused on exploring and sharing how neurodiversity can be good for everyone. They advise on, design and implement systems, processes and practices which generate ongoing positive change. In addition to their private practice with Meaning bit LTD, they are: Chair and co-founder of Neurodiverse IT, a group for neurodivergent IT professionals within BCS, the Chartered institute for IT; Co-organizer and founder of Curious Being, a community for unconventional people who want to make the world a better place; and host of the Curious Being podcast, a live-recorded show about playfully challenging assumptions. Matthew has a background in technology, psychology, research and education, and is a late-diagnosis autistic ADHD er
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